Dear God

I have never written to you
I have always wondered how I would begin
You are a beauty I can’t describe
A calm I love to imbibe
You are not a phase of life
But the forever I desire

This is me trying to write to you
Trying to tell you how I feel
Even though I’m sure you already know
I am not one for the fans
I am a fan of the times
When we talk and laugh and stay with each other

I know you watch me ignore you
I know you wonder if I ever loved you
You are really all I could ever come back to
In my wanderings to my returnings
In my stillness to my movements
You’re all I can ever come back to

So today I write to you
You are not what they made you out to be
You are not just the owner of the skies and the seas
You are the owner of me
Your breath, your heart
Your mind, your Spirit
You are the owner of me.

Someone

You remind of someone
You always have
Like a ghost from my past to haunt my present
You use no words and work with your eyes
You are clearly a staunch reminder of all I want to forget
When my eyes caught sight of your contours
I knew our paths must never cross
But the universe had other plans
By a stroke of misfortune our paths crossed severally
And everything I already knew about you was proven to be true
Its hard to separate the two when I know you look a bit like him too
Maybe we can be a better version of what never was
Maybe this will be a forever fire

#Sincerehearts

Draw me

You draw me in
Everytime I think I’m done
Everytime I see this is too hard
You draw me in
To the smile, to the dimple, to the laughter and the giggles

You draw me in
To the time when this was new
To the time when I didn’t care who else was into you
You draw me in
To the songs, the movies the times we passed in each other’s arms

You draw me in
With no words, with no looks
With nothing at all but a memory of you, smiling
You draw me in
To the freedom, to the ease to the hope of having you

Us

I am falling in love with you and I really don’t want to
My heart is heavy and it can’t fully pump
The oxygen in my lungs doesn’t help me
Because its you I have been breathing
What this feeling is, what this thing is
My mind wants to rest but you keep it tossing
I need to find peace

I miss what we were and how it felt.
I miss that I was not afraid of what we would become
I miss playing feelings without having none
I miss acting house when we weren’t sure we would build
You’re danger and my power.
And I wish this would be forever

Dying

Do I hold my breath or let the water fill my lungs
Do I spread my arms or hope that the waves can carry me
Do I believe I can fly with no wings
Will I die tonight from the absence of my own mind

Do I clap my hands wanting applause
Do I move my feet waiting for a rhythm to drop
Do I cuddle myself in search of warmth
Will I die tonight from the absence of my own mind

Utopia

Baking Soda on my face
My mirror is your face.
Your smile is wide and peaceful
Made of things that make delightful
A heavy heart a thick mask
You make me float in utopia

The place where things are certain
And nothing is hidden
Utopia utopia
A place of fulfilled pleasures

Coconut oil in your locs
My arms are your rest
My heart is steady and dances to your tunes
The things that make peaceful
A smooth face a clean slate
I make you float in utopia
A place of hidden treasures

A dream

I saw you walk by
You were a glorious morning
Born by the deep need in my internal division
The gaping vast of please in my mind’s perception

Your skin wasn’t golden nor did your eyes show the blueness of the sky
Yet my juices flowed when I saw you walk by
The brownness of your back have called to the non-melanin skin of mine
I would like to dive into the greenness of your blood

I heard you spew letters and my mind formed it’s own letters
I heard words to please my heart
Your words pleased my soul

Not that I didn’t understand your vocabulary
I was just lost in your cornea’s capillaries
Close enough to hold yet not near enough to behold.
I am intoxicated by your demise , a pure sculpture of ice

I think to myself asking
when again shall I imbibe that sweet taste of glorious wine.
To remain forever in my dream’s mind

Distance

I have learned to love you from a distance
Not because we live on different parts of existence
Not because a delta air is a hindrance
My life is just a mystery with lessons of misery
I watch yours simply and I love to live

I have learned to love you from a distance.
You have helped me in ways I can’t explain for instance
Reminding me that I was created for a reason
Telling me to hold on for my due season
You say the dandiest thing just to turn my frown upside down

I have loved you from a distance
an emotion of unending passion
It proves that we are not mere robots in motion
That there is a greater good to devotion
Not mere products of some mytical evolution

Shall I then continue to give my heart?
Would this distance not draw us apart?
Lets keep reading our chapters with or without no hues
And when the epilogue is due
We would have love purely brewed by a distance

Free

I am a woman who was once a girl

With the dreams of a girl and beliefs of a girl

I am a woman who said to herself

Life will not beat me to dust with my heart I will fight

I am a gender who is not forgotten

a person who is evolving

I am a person who will not be overlooked

I am free to be

And I will Become

Open

I am an open book but still hidden
I sing my life but still keep it
The warmth I like I gave away
The cold I despised became my space
I am an open book but you will never read me
My codes are my steps the thoughts the are burrowed in my soul
My spirit is a sweet and sour
Honey and a little bit of tar

I am an open book in an open space
This world is the grounds I will forever play
The things I see inspire me
The things I imagine become me
I am an open book and my story is being read
The solutions I provide the change I desire are things I have to give away
My mind is delicate and fortified
Desires and conflicting requirements